He did not like turnips

Gravelly News by Glenna Goodson

A lady entered a drug store and told the pharmicist that she wanted some poison to kill her husband. The prarmicist said "Ma-am I can't sell you poison, that's against the law." The lady said, "but my husband is running around with another woman and I want to kill him, slowly with poison." The pharmacist again told her he could not sell her poison to kill her husband. The lady said "look at this picture a detective took of my husband and the other woman."The pharmacist almost fainted because the woman in the picture was his wife !He said to the lady, "Oh, I didn't realize you had a prescription.!"

I walked into the Plainview library Thursday and Jan Loney, the librarian said, "I am glad you are here." She then told me how that in October, she had visited her aunt who lives in California.Her aunt, Gladys Lowell is 90 years of age. Jan sends her aunt, copies of the Yell County Record and Jan said, "she loves your column and reads it over and over." Jan said "I am gong to call Aunt Gladys on my cell phone and let her talk to you," whichshe did. Ms. Gladys just made my day telling me how much my column meant to her. Jan says her Aunt Gladys is still very intelligent, reads all the time and is very attractive..Ms. Lowell is the one that told me the joke I used this week.

John Meredith had bought some cat food at Bill Workman's. I asked about his cat and he said one day a kitty followed him home--then that kitty had kittens and now THEY are having kittens. That's the way it happens, John.

Carolyn Meredith caught a 3 pound catfish from their pond last week. I told John he should have fried that fish right then because that's when it is good.

I understand that Sue Hunt's surprise retirement party last Saturday was really a surprise for Sue. I did not believe that her family and friends could keep it from her but they did. It was held in the Masonic Hall at Gravelly and I understand there were about 35 in attendance. Congratulations to Sue on her retirement.

Larry Wilson will enter the hospital the 14th for an important procedure for his heart. The doctors will charge the heart and insert a new pacemaker. Larry has been waiting for another pacemaker for several weeks now and I pray this will make Larry well enough to work and to sing and play that guitar.

Brother Elvin McDill, his wife Nancy and Bro. Elvin's brother, have started a singing group. I am excited because they will be singing in our Rover Baptist Church Friday night.

I hope several young people were successful during the youth deer season last week. I remember when my younger son was 15 and killed his first deer here in Ar. Fred heard him shoot and was coming to where he was and he heard Russell talking to himself--saying--"That was a good shot, Russell--I got my deer." It's always an exciting time when a kid gets their first deer.

I picked turnip greens from Bill Workman's patch Wednesday. They sure are good. My pastor, Bro. Shipley was telling me about one time he was at a large family dinner. There was a bowl, of what he thought were stewed potatoes, so he got a big helping, smashed them up with lots of butter and salt and pepper. A relative said, "I never saw anyone eat TURNIPS like that" The bad thing was he did not like turnips but he had to eat them.

My niece Linda's daughter, Christina, will be married in Benton Saturday. My brother-in-law Lacey Minnie will perform the ceremony. i wish the best for Christina and husband.

It is so fun at the F.V. ball games to see these babies of former students of FV. My niece Ashly Swaim with her wonderful little boy--Cheyenne Lambert with her handsome baby boy and Brittany Powell with her beautiful little girl. Gee, it seems like just yesterday these mothers were playing basketball..

As I attend the FV ball games I watch the kids, elementary and high school, use the chairs just like a ladder. They step in one and then in another until they get where they want to sit. I just cringe when I see this. Those chairs cost the people that bought them, $100 per chair and this climbing in them eventually breaks down the chair. I watched a high school boy do that Tuesday night and I said, "You know these chairs cost $100."He was so nice and said, "I'm sorry, but I'm not the only one to do this."and I told hm I realized this was true. In a few minutes he and a friend were leaving and he walked to the end of the aisle and he told his friend, "these chairs cost $100 and we're not supposed to step in them." I couldn't help but smile and think "bless him." It would be so great if you teachers (Bruce Lee are you listening) would ask the students to not step in the chairs. Many people worked really hard getting these chairs and placing them in the gym.

Some have asked me to tell them the end of the TV story that was left out of my column two weeks ago, so here it is. An elderly lady, Mary, in OKC, decided to quit paying for cable tv.and asked the cable people to unhook the cable, which they did. Mary told her church family that she no longer had cable. A week later, Mary came up to a guy named Gary after church and said "Gary I want you to come see what is wrong with my TV, On the back of the TV it says, :"cable ready" but I can't get cable.!

One day last week, my son, Russell kept his two grandchildren, Jake and Allyson. Russ and Fred are back at our place in OKC, Fred was telling me that 3 year old Allyson crawled up in his lap and gave him a kiss. Fred said "Allyson, you are the most beautiful little girl I have ever seen.:" Allyson looked up at Fred and said "Well, you are not very handsome."

Another Burma Shave sign-----The midnight ride----of Paul for beer---led to a warmer----Hemisphere